This is how I feel when someone starts making up hypotheticals in our study group when they know NONE of us know how to answer it and it completely ruins our previous understanding of the topic.


 This is how I feel when someone asks if I have a clue about what we went over in class that day...



How I feel when I read my notes...



When I get out of class and feel happy, but then and remember I have a billion things to do that night...

 
These days this is how I feel about looking at anything with words on it that I'm not required to read...

-L

Sacrifices.

Most things in life require you to make some sacrifices. 

Law school is no different, in fact it probably requires you to make more sacrifices than you are used to making. You sacrifice free time, sleep, time with family, time with friends, time to watch your favorite shows, time for reading books for fun, time to make dinner, time to go shopping... the list goes on and on. I'd even go so far as to argue you sacrifice your sanity every now and then.

Most of the sacrifices are easy to ignore, eventually they just feel natural and fit in with the new territory of your life. But... at times some sacrifices are impossible to see as anything but a sacrifice (in the worst way) and can really leave you feeling torn between your life and your (law school) life. 

 

Late last night I got the call that my Mamaw was being rushed to the hospital for what they believed to be a stroke. 

The distance between here and Tennessee immediately felt palpable. 

 

What options do you have in law school when life throws you a curve ball? Well... not many. Of course you have a few absences for each class you can take and emergencies are taken into consideration by the school... but how do you miss classes when your ability to succeed (actually pass) law school is directly influenced by information they give you in class?

Luckily, (as of now) my Mamaw is (from my understanding) in no immediate peril. She has it rough and is still in the hospital, but will hopefully benefit from a treatment plan. There's absolutely nothing I could do even if I did make the drive there, but that doesn't negate the fact that I want to be there. 

........................

 

When I was in college, I had an 8am class three days a week and had to drive 45 minutes or so to get there. The only person I knew who was up that early every morning was my Papaw, so several times a week I'd call him and we'd talk my entire commute to school. I vividly remember the last early morning we talked before our phone call routine was cut short. Later that same day was the day he was rushed to the hospital. 

He never went home again.

I don't remember much about the weeks and months after my Papaw died, but I do remember how kind my professors were and how they did everything in their power to help me still succeed. Somehow I still made all A's that semester. If I were to miss the amount of days in law school that I missed during that time it would be pretty impossible to finish a semester. 

The point is, life still happens all around you while you're in law school. There will likely come a time that a life event will require a sacrifice that will give you pause and you'll wonder what's more important. 

Wishing I was in Tennessee. 

But here goes another week.

-L

A week of ups.

After my really terrible week last week, this week has been much better . School has been just as demanding as usual, maybe even more so than usual with the addition of our pre-midterm assessments (mini exams). I am proud to say that my assessments have all gone very well! I still have one more to go and I don't have a grade for another yet, but I am about 98% sure I did well on it too. 

Remember how I complained about Contracts? I got the highest grade in the class on the assessment :) It was literally the best feeling ever! :)

There are some major differences from law school exams and undergrad exams. First of all, in law school you do not put your name on any of your exams. You are assigned a number to keep the grading anonymous... which I think is a pretty novel concept. It protects the professor from being accused of bias (they're human too, it happens) and keeps the students happy knowing your teacher doesn't know that you're the one who missed that question they went over and over in class.

Second, (I know I've mentioned this before) law school exams usually have two really wrong answers and two correct answers. The hard part is figuring out which one is more correct. I would have had a perfect score on one of my assessments had I not gotten stuck between the two correct answers and inevitably chosen the "less" correct one. Oh well, lesson learned.

Lastly- in law school you don't talk about your grades. Well, at least you don't openly... you keep it to yourself or between you and your group of friends. Law school brings out the emotional side of both the girls and the guys which they may not have even realized they had. Sensitivities are at an all time high. When I got a significantly better grade than one of my friends it made for a very awkward conversation. You just have to learn who you can and cannot share things with. Some people will celebrate your successes, but others will resent you for them.

 -L

Sunday night blues...

Every Sunday around this time of night I get the blues. Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays are particularly grueling. Each day starts at 6 am and doesn't end until 1 or 2 am. By Thursday I'm sleep deprived and information overloaded. By Friday I'm contemplating burning my books and moving out of the country.  But each week, somehow, by the grace of God, I keep riding this train and the days (seem) to be flying by. 

...I'm still literally counting the minutes until Christmas break though...

This week I have three different tests. One tomorrow in LRA (my least favorite class) and two on Wednesday in both Torts and Civ Pro. Praying I pass all of these tests and maintain my sanity at the same time. I've literally been dreaming the definitions of assault, battery, false imprisonment, infliction of emotional distress, etc... Dreaming about law school does not help with sleep deprivation FYI. 

Speaking of sleep...

-L 

Snowball effect.

Today started off badly and just continued to snowball all.day.long. 

I got up late, got stuck in a traffic jam, hit every stop light, couldn't find parking, spent 20 minutes circling the school until I finally found a spot and had to literally run to class with only 2 minutes to spare...

...got to class and opened my laptop only to have the girl in front of me accidentally knock it off my desk with her bag... -_- ...made it through that class only to find out the assignment that was due in a later class magically deleted itself (maybe my computer retaliated?).... 

...forgot my lunch, had to eat crackers... migraine started around lunch and never left... went to Contracts only to painfully realize I still don't have a clue... started to feel even more hopeless about my test on Thursday...  

...some other bad stuff happened I won't mention...

...felt so sick and down during my last class that it must have showed because my professor noticed and asked me to stay after class in front of everyone, ugh... luckily she just wanted to make sure I understood it and was concerned that I seemed down..

So overall today was a complete bust. I wish I would have just stayed in bed... but for now I just keep telling myself that tomorrow's another day. I can only pray it is significantly better than today. God only gives us what we can handle right?

-L 

 

Long days, shorter nights.

This morning I had my first "assessment exam" in Property. I have never been a good test taker, but I kicked that test's butt. :) There wasn't a single question on it that I didn't know the answer to and that was a great feeling. So I'd say at this point I'm basically a pro at the finder's rule ;) Misplaced, lost, abandoned, or treasure trove items beware! I know what to legally do with you now!

Thursday is our Contract's assessment and I already know I need to bottle up and save this happy feeling from today for after that exam because I am not looking forward to it at all. Most law students (from what I'm told) usually really understand one subject, are okay at another, and really struggle in one or more. Contracts has yet to register in my brain for some reason, which is ridiculous because everyone else seems to understand it pretty well... and of course by everyone else I mean my small group of friends, but still...

I did get frustrated in my Civil Procedure class today... that is the class I mentioned has the "scary" (by reputation) professor with an Ivy League education and a no-nonsense attitude. I actually really like the professor, but for the second time since we started school I gave an answer to which he said was incorrect, but after calling on a few more people someone else gives the SAME ANSWER and he says correct! -_- I have yet to figure that man out. 

I have about 5 billion cases to read and brief tonight so I should probably get started. Blah.

-L 

ps... this is how I hope my Contracts exam goes on Thursday...

Waiting...

Had an interview to be a Barbri rep early on this Saturday morning. There were only a handful of other people here in the building which felt weird since it's usually packed with people. I didn't know what to do with myself since I arrived an entire 45 minutes early per usual so I took some selfies like a weirdo. :)

(Me and this dude are the only two here.) 

(My "it's too early, I should have eaten, it's creepy in here alone, at least my hair looks nice" face.)

 

I really need to learn how to not be so early all the time.
 

The interview went well, the head Barbri rep is a really nice guy and I liked how the questions allowed me to show him who I really am. I'm not super confident I'll get the job since there were so many applicants and it was extremely competitive, but like my dear friend told me, "you definitely won't get the job if you don't even try."
 So here goes nothing.

-L

3 weeks down...

One more week and I've been a law student for an entire month! 

Time feels like it's been stuck on fast forward lately. I feel like it should still be Monday, but here we are again at Friday. There are not enough hours in the day to get anything done! I remember all of the 'pre-law school' days when time seemed to drag on and on. When I was a waitress I swear a four hour shift felt like it would never end. Now I can't seem to make four hours stay longer than two minutes. 

Next week is going to be a difficult one. We have our first assessment in some of our classes, starting first thing Monday morning. My first assessment is in Property... I actually find the class pretty interesting, but the rules can be so confusing. There are so many rules. Then there are so many exceptions to every rule. We will be tested on the Finder's Rule on Monday, which is actually pretty useful to know...

Finders Rule: The finder has a truer title against anyone in the world, except the true owner or subsequent possessors.

So basically, if you find a diamond ring in a public place and you notify the police (because you are an upstanding citizen) and they cannot find the true owners after a specified period of time, the ring is rightfully yours. Of course like I said there are exceptions to every rule, you can't be a trespasser... you can't find something on private property and just take it, etc. So next time you find something of value and you turn it in to whatever 'authority', consider notifying whoever you turned it into that you will be checking back in periodically and if they cannot locate the true owner then the item is most likely rightfully yours (so long as none of the exceptions apply to you of course).

We read a case about a family who found thousands of dollars in the road and called the police in an effort to do the right thing. After a period of time, the police attempted to put the money in a police department fund. The family found out and they went to court. The court ruled in favor of the family because they were the original finders. The police were merely subsequent possessors. So next time you find a couple grand in the road, make sure you call me so I can claim to be the original finder too!

In other news, I was received some very sad news this week from one of my best friends from high school. She is pregnant with her first child and was given the news this week that the right side of her baby's heart did not fully form. The baby will need to undergo a series of surgeries after birth and will always live with only one side of a functioning heart. My heart was so heavy with this news that I had trouble sleeping the last two nights. You don't want something like this to happen to anyone, but especially not to someone you love. I know miracles happen everyday and God is in control, so I am keeping the faith that He will bring healing to the little miss. 

I will say that after I spoke to my friend today, I felt much better about the news. She actually comforted me by her positive attitude. She is determined to continue having a happy pregnancy and has made it her goal to think only positive things. She is a strong momma already and I told her that the little miss will obviously take after her and be strong as well. Please keep them both (and her husband of course) in your prayers.

-L

Legally... something.

I always thought Legally Blonde was a comedy and was in no way close to the real thing... I was wrong. If you want to know what a class in law school is like, there you go. Oh, and aside from being kicked out of the classroom... this is pretty much how I felt in class the other day during my humiliation. -_-

Ps...after my bad day the other day, this is how my sis cheered me up :)

 

Slowly opening up my contracts book now :( 

-L

p.s.s... An offer is a manifestation of an intent to enter into a contract in which both parties will be bound. An offer must be specific, definite, reasonable, and communicated.

You win some, you lose some.

And today was one of those days for me.

My name card decided to make its way through the stack into the professor's hand and I was called on in Contracts. Unfortunately for me, the question was not to brief the case we were working on, which I actually would have known the answers to, but to answer a question that I had absolutely no idea what the answer was... to make matters worse I didn't know a simple definition and couldn't find it anywhere in my notes. If you could see my class notes you'd probably be surprised because they are about a million pages long... I write down everything from a class... or at least I thought I did. I was pretty humiliated and my mood was deflated as fast as a needle pops a balloon. My ego was also painfully knocked down a few pegs as well.

 The problem in law school is that when you get the wrong answer or you don't know an answer to the professor's question they don't move on to another person... you're just stuck with the question... even if it takes you ten minutes or the entire class period. Some professor's will get annoyed and move on and some won't. Today, my Contracts professor was in the mood to torture apparently and waited for what seemed like an eternity for me to mumble out incoherent answers that weren't even remotely right. 

So that sucked.

But today wasn't a total fail... I got my test grade back that I was 100% sure I failed and I got a B-!!!!! I have always hated B's and I think the minus part is unnecessary, but I swear to you that B felt like a golden A++++ to me today. Pretty sure if I had failed that I would have gone home and contemplated dropping out and moving to a country that would grant me asylum so I wouldn't have to pay back all these student loans. A lot of people did fail and I can only imagine what they are feeling right now... something tells me it's a lot like the feeling of looking like a complete idiot in front of 80 people which I can say I've now experienced.

Hoping tomorrow has more wins than losses.

 -L

Oh, and in case you are wondering... an OFFER is a manifestation of intent to enter into an agreement to make a deal. It must be specific, definite, communicated, and reasonable.

 If I forget this definition after the mental beating I gave myself after class there is something wrong with me.

My life in a Youtube Video...

Apparently all of my friends from school are doing exactly what I'm doing today....

.....which is not getting any actual work done.

One of the girls just sent me this video and it's 100% accurate. 

Enjoy.

-L

4 day weekend.

I had high hopes for this weekend. I thought I would have plenty of time to get some needed shopping done, clean my house, and make a serious dent in some homework... It's now Sunday and I've only gotten the shopping part done.

It's not that I haven't tried... I've literally forced myself to sit down at my desk with my books laid out in front of me with a pen in one hand and a highlighter in the other, but then I look at how much work I have to do and my mind checks out to another land. Looks like I will be paying for it tonight and tomorrow when I really have to cram.

I am a hard worker. I thrive in my school work and I actually like when I have a project to do. However, I'm extremely OCD and like to narrow my focus to one project at a time... which unfortunately is impossible to do when you have six classes demanding the same amount of attention.Which brings me to my feelings about law school as I enter into week three...

I have always wanted to go to law school. I can't remember a time when I have said anything otherwise. The problem is that saying you want to go and actually going are two entirely different things.

Law school plays with your emotions in ways you cannot imagine until you actually go through it. At school you sit through class after class terrified you'll be called on to be in the hot seat, especially during a topic that you have little to no understanding about (which is basically all of them). At home you struggle with the balance of wanting to enjoy being home and feeling guilty that you aren't studying or getting ahead. Even when you sleep you can't escape the emotional pull of law school as your dreams (or nightmares rather) are filled with legal question after legal question.

The hardest part of law school that I have personally struggled with the last few weeks is dealing with all of the doubts. I never once doubted I would make it through undergrad or even that I would do well, but everyday I doubt that I will make it through law school. It's like being told you have to climb Mount Everest to the top and back down again with zero knowledge or skills of mountain climbing.

Oh, and before anyone tries to tell me not to worry, just know there are over 200 dead bodies on Mt. Everest, so clearly some people do not make it. -_-

 

If support and a desire would get me through, I wouldn't be so worried. I have some great people behind me and I obviously have the desire to make it. I'm just counting on my faith to help me overcome all of these doubts, because no matter how many people tell me it'll be okay my fears are not quieted.

"For truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you." -Bible

"Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." -MLK

Getting to work now.

-L

Ouch.

Today was rough. 

The girl beside me was in the hot seat in class and it was brutal. She had previously read the case we were working on, but she didn't brief it (a summary of the case in a specific format) so she had a hard time answering the questions she was asked by the professor (who was extremely annoyed). I could literally feel the waves of tension that rolled off of her while she shook like a leaf. Poor girl, I know she was embarrassed and I felt awful for her. I'm hoping that when it's my turn in the hot seat that I'm a little more prepared. I know that had I been in her shoes I wouldn't have been able to hold it together as well as she did...I  would have had some tears rolling down my cheeks! 

I also had my first test in law school today and I'm feeling down about it. We had to look at an issue and then apply the given law to that issue by breaking it down step by step. It's a lot more complicated than it sounds and it can be really confusing. After the test my little group of friends and I talked about the test and I had a completely different answer than most of them. I felt extremely bummed after I found that out, especially since I have a strong feeling that their answers were right and mine was way off. I'm going to try to not think about it, but I have a hard time letting things like that go... it sucks to feel disappointed this early in the game. 

Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day... 

-L

1 week down...

15 more weeks to go until the end of the semester. 

The rest of the week went pretty good, nothing too exciting to report. I studied my butt off for Contracts and actually knew what the professor was talking about during class for once. I also spent several hours making flash cards this week... they seem to really help, but I'm doubting I'll have enough time to keep making them as the semester goes on. 

Here's what has been drilled into my head so far... 

Definitions: 

• Intent- A person acts with intent when the purpose of their actions is to bring about a certain consequence; or the knowledge that a consequence is substantially certain.

We read a case about a 5 year old who pulled out a chair from an elderly woman who fell and broke her hip... He was found liable by the appeals court despite his young age because he acted with the intent of knowing she would fall, even if he didn't think she would get hurt. 

• Battery- The least touching of another person in a harmful or injurious way without their consent. 

We read a case about a black man who had his plate aggressively snatched from his hands by a white guy declaring that a negro could not be served in the restaurant. Despite the fact the aggressor did not touch the man, only his plate, he was still guilty of battery because the object was intimately held by the man. Too bad the racist white dude died before the case went to court, but luckily his place of work was held liable for his actions because they allowed the behavior to happen without reprimand or an apology.

I'm finding as I read cases I get really annoyed. The case I mentioned above went all the way to the Supreme Court before it finally was found in favor for the plaintiff (the guy who had his plate snatched away). R-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s!

Enough about school, I got to spend some time with my family this weekend. My sweet Mamaw, aunt, & uncle came in from TN to see my bro's new baby. My niece is only 11 days old and is perfect I tell ya! She hardly makes a peep unless she's hungry. We even did a little bit of arts and crafts with her by painting her feet and making some ornaments. It took us awhile to get the hang of it and get a squirmy baby's feet to leave a good print, but we did it! My favorite thing that we made was a ceramic sign that says L.O.V.E with the footprints making the V. We also did a baby photo-shoot and the pics turned out so good! If I was allowed to post them I would, but alas she's going to be an anti-Internet baby. The best I can do is show you a picture of our hands together.

(Me, Mamaw, Niece- Three generations)  

I've always loved hands. I know I'm weird, but my Papaw always told me that you could tell a lot about a person by their hands. When I have trouble picturing his face or remembering his mannerisms, I can always count on my brain to be able to remember his hands. I have a very distinct memory of the last few days he was still with us in the hospital holding my hands with his.

I enjoyed spending time with my family this weekend, but I started to desperately miss my Papaw. Watching my Mamaw hold her first great-grandchild, but without the man she raised 5 children and way too many grandchildren with made my heart ache. I miss him all the time, but I'll admit I don't miss him like I did when he first left. Time has continued to go on and his absence has become my new normal. But there are moments when the realization of the depth of his loss hits me out of nowhere and is overwhelmingly painful. In my eyes the sun rose and set with that man. I know most would say to this, "he's watching from Heaven, he's already met that little niece of yours, he's still with you, etc etc" but that doesn't change the fact that we are missing out on him, even if he isn't missing out on us. 

I was incredibly sad that he wasn't here to watch me graduate college, or when he wasn't there for me to call when I got my law school acceptance letter, but it hurts even more knowing he won't be here to hold and influence my niece and my future kids. I miss you desperately and I hope that somehow you know. 

I should probably quit rambling and get to bed. I have to make up for all my lost studying time tomorrow, blah. Law school is a lot of things, but most of all it is way too time consuming. 

-L

Is it really only Wednesday?

I've officially been a law student for three whole days, but somehow it feels like it has been three long months already. I am exhausted. Law school is both physically and mentally demanding... and clearly my stamina is lacking in both departments. 

The first year of law school is considered the most difficult of the three years of school. The amount of information that you must not only read, but also understand, and then apply is mind-numbing. I have never had to read and then reread to understand a case- only to get to class and find out I didn't understand the case at all with the questions the professors are asking. When they say legal language is a foreign language they weren't kidding. Most of the ridiculously long statutes could easily be written in plain English in a sentence or two. But... as the saying goes- 'if law school was easy, everyone would do it.' I get that it shouldn't be or isn't easy (if it was who would actually need an attorney to represent them? I guess we need some form of job security), but I don't see the point in it being so ridiculously hard!

Despite the difficulties of trying to comprehend SIX different classes, I have enjoyed classes so far. The professor's all have very different personalities ranging from super mono-toned and flat to bubbly and hyperactive to downright scary. The funny thing is that the scary professor is probably my favorite one because he gets right down to business. He forces the class to answer the questions that really matter. I say this now, but I may change my opinion on liking him so much when I get in the hot seat :) 

Speaking of the hot seat, let me explain classes and how they work. First off, there are 200 + students who are 1L's this year. (you're called a 1L if you are in your first year, 2L second year, 3L third year.) Those 200 students are divided into 3 different sections... 101, 102, and 103. Each section has it's own class schedule and its own set of professors. We do not share professors or classes between the sections in the first year of school. In years 2 and 3 we will all mix together again, but for now we have our little family (and by that I mean 80 or so students) in our section all year long.

Think Harry Potter and Hogwarts (because I'm a nerd and I love that I can apply Harry Potter to my life woo!)  :) I'm going to say section 101 is Gryffindor...  102 can be Slytherin... and 103 can be Hufflepuff. Wild guess which one I'm in ; ) If you don't understand Harry Potter then you need to re-evaluate your life and read those books!!! Or... just watch the movies if you are tired of reading like me right now!

  

So anyway, like I said each section has their own professors... I would equate my scary professor to Professor Snape in Harry Potter... he's scary as hell, but I know I'll learn a lot from the man (and his intentions are for the greater good, whether we see it now or not). One of my professor's definitely fits as McGonagall too. I haven't quite assigned the rest of the professor's to Harry Potter characters, but just wait I'll figure it out. 

The other thing I wanted to post before I forget and the weeks fly by is about my experience during orientation. First of all, I think the Dean of our school is a brilliant lady. Her opening speech knocked my socks off. I don't think there was a person there who wasn't hanging on her every word. During her speech, she told the story about a past Chancellor who recently died of heart failure and retold the story of what was said at his funeral. This is what stood out to me from her speech...

"They didn't speak about how prestigious he was or of all of his accomplishments, they spoke of his kindness and his heart... He gave a piece of his heart away until he didn't have any heart left.... What differences will you make? What legacy will you leave? ...Our times are crying out for you."

I was deeply moved by this and hope that I can remember it for the next three years and keep a firm grasp on why I want to become a lawyer in the first place. I aspire to be in a position where I can make a difference and that I too will leave a legacy worth remembering... or at least one that may impact a future law student as the legacy of this man has done for me.

There was also a quote read during orientation (I forget who quoted it) that I had heard countless times before, but it had not resonated with me so loudly until I heard it last week...

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
And watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
What we think, we become."

This quote is one that I have taken to heart as I know my thoughts tend to dwell on the negative and my actions have often reflected this. I tend to see the cup half empty and give people very little room for redemption in my book. I'm not sure you can change many habits by the age of 24, but it never hurts to attempt to self-improve.

It's only been three days, but I already feel myself changing and looking at things in a new perspective. Being an English major for so many years made me love the written word, but being a law student has given those words real meaning. 

-L